Show me your love mentor, and I can predict how your love will end. The only thing worse than choosing a wrong lover, is choosing a wrong love mentor. I believe there is a love philosopher in every human being but if you subscribe to the wrong love concepts, your love life is doomed. The ideas and advices you choose to bow to, can determine the state of your love life for decades to come. I want to highlight a few wrong mentors to adopt, and if time permits, show you the attributes of a good love mentor.
LOVE ACCORDING TO PEERS: Most people in love confuse accessibility with reliability. The fact that our peers are most accessible to us, doesn’t mean that their counsel is most reliable. Most of our peers are likely to be on the same experiential level as we are. However, most of the solutions we require can only be found with people on a higher experiential level. Unfortunately, most of us are busy sharing our love problems with people who lack the experiential credibility to solve them. At best, most of our peers will end up complicating our love lives, if we aren’t sensitive.
- LOVE ACCORDING TO PARENTS: Most of our parents are dear to our hearts and they ought to be. However it is dangerous to confuse the intensity of our affection for them, with the accuracy of their suggestions to us. I am of the opinion that we must not be sentimental with the parental advices we get. If such advices have not yielded fruits in our parent’s lives, we are at liberty to honorably and respectfully reject them. Case in point, can a stubborn,unrepentant divorcee really teach you how to run a successful marriage simply because they are your parents? It is not a person’s position in your life that gives them the credibility to be your love mentor, it is their disposition.
- LOVE ACCORDING TO CELEBRITIES: Maturity is the ability to realize that, the fact that a person is a public celebrity,doesn’t mean that they should be a personal authority. I have often said that who a person calls celebrity, is a reflection of the state of their sanity. In today’s reality show driven society,we must be reminded of the fact that being in front of the cameras doesn’t automatically make you right. Those who erroneously pattern their love lives after publicly successful celebrities, who are private failures,may end up duplicating such failures in their own lives. We aren’t anti celebrities, but we justify our followership of them in love by their personal success.
LOVE ACCORDING TO PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: Many erroneously believe that experience is the best teacher. How can that possibly be? Experience is a teacher, but it is not the best. I am convinced that experience is the costliest teacher. If we will wait to experience all we need to learn in love, our lives would have been riddled with countless pains. It is wiser to learn by precepts than to learn by experience. Should we choose to learn by experience, it is less expensive to learn from the experience of other individuals.
I am out of word count for today. Subsequently, I will introduce you to a few of my love mentors and how they have changed my life. Until then I suggest you objectively analyze the role that those four mentoring sources above have had on you. If it is negative, it’s time to demolish their influences over you. If positive, I can only say congratulations.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE
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