Someone rightly said, life is best lived looking forward but it is best understood looking backwards. In other to understand why a person is the way they are, you might have to understand where they are coming from. To this end I intend to be a bit personal and transparent about certain love decisions I made and how they played out in life for me.
MY FIRST LOVE
My first attempt at love was at the unbelievable age of 9. I had this intense crush on a female neighbor of mine, but lacked the confidence to go through with it. Emboldened by an adventurous older friend in the neighborhood who set up the relationship, I found myself with my first love who was also 9 years old. Those who postulate that first love is meant to die hard need to think again. The entire relationship was a child’s play. At best it was a mockery of what love was meant to be. What can you expect from two kids, who lacked any realistic concept of what love was meant to be. That relationship came to an abrupt end because we relocated from that city and lacked the resources necessary to keep in touch.
MY SECOND LOVE
Having overcome the immature illusion of marrying my childhood love, I decided to make a second attempt at love in High School. Like my first this relationship was propelled by my teenage peers, who also had no realistic working concept of love. My crush on her eventually evolved into a relationship that lasted for a while, until I left high school. Like my first, I didn’t have enough sense to bridge the gap of distance through communication. That relationship also died a natural death.
MY THIRD LOVE
In my later years in another High School, I finally got over my second love, when I discerned a lady’s crush on me. I simply took advantage of the opportunity and floated a relationship with her. No love was involved, at least not on my part. The consequences were disastrous. The young woman eventually ended up being sexually exploited and dumped, as soon as I had other love toys to play with. Sometime later I will tell you about how things really degenerated from then on. Let’s turn to the mistakes and lessons learned.
MISTAKES AND LESSONS
It is dangerous to know who your lover is, before understanding what love is. Probably before connecting to anyone in love, we must get them to answer the question “What is love to you? Except they understand what love is before hand, they are bound to fail at it.
- Those who lack an understanding of what love takes and are unwilling to give it what it takes won’t go far in love. In my case as in every other case of long distance relationship, the price for its continued existence is COMMUNICATION. My unwillingness to pay that price, led to the predetermined deaths of the first two relationships.
There is no point being in love with someone who doesn’t believe in love at all. Many have stopped believing in love, yet they keep entering into relationships in spite of their unbelief. Consider faith in love as the air that fills our tires for movement. Our love tires will be flat and unable to move, if we don’t believe in it.
I look forward to sharing more of my love blunders with you subsequently, so that you won’t repeat them. See you at the top
THE GREATEST IS LOVE