It is no longer news to acknowledge the fact that more than 50% of marriages will end up in divorce. Interestingly this statistic doesn’t include the many who choose to remain in their marriages in spite of their lack of fulfillment and unhappiness with their homes. So why is this glorious institution in a state of ruins today? I believe that the reasons are not far fetched. A few of such reasons will be addressed today and I intend to be as candid as possible.
UNDERESTIMATING THE POWER OF SEX. It is unfortunate for me to acknowledge that many,particularly ladies underestimate the impact that sexual satisfaction plays in a home. Marriage is a calling to sex,and those who are unwilling to go the extra mile sexually should simply stay out of it. Religion has further complicated this problem by not hitting the nail on the head regarding the importance of sexual satisfaction in marriage. Most religious people and leaders even consider it a taboo to discuss the subject. Results however doesn’t lie, even the great religious institutions that deny the sexual instinct by mandating institution wide celibacy for her staffs are bound to drown in oceans of sexual scandals over and over again. Sexual fulfillment should be made a core assignment for those who are married or else such marriages are a bad joke. It is high time we prioritize the fulfillment of our partner‘s sexual needs in marriage with everything we have. People often ask me where to start with the rebuilding of their fragmented marriages, I often tell them to start by improving their sex life. It is my observation that if a couple’s sex life is dying,it is more difficult to bring about the needed changes in the other areas of marriage. With great sex however, it is easier to address those other areas. Sex is the oil of marriage, while it might not seem to many, to be the most important part of marriage, it can determine the ease with which all the other parts of a marriage function together.
- FATIGUE. Many do not realize that for your marriage to work your energy levels must be managed deliberately. It takes tremendous amounts of energy to love and when our energies are dissipated by engaging in several competing directions like building a career, raising children, home keeping, building a business, or extreme involvement in social institutions like the Church and charity organizations, little energy is left to share with the ones you love. When this is done over an extended period of time, this energy deficit can begin to take its toll on the marital relationship. Any thing that will save your energy can save your marriage. This includes rest, setting realistic work limits, or even engaging the help of responsible house maids. Whatever saves your energy, and supplies you with extra energy to love your partner will greatly improve your marriage. Beware, the three worded sentence “I AM TIRED” has murdered many marriages. It is time all married folks begin to intentionally hunt for energy saving opportunities in their marriage, while deliberately concentrating their energies on their partner’s fulfillment.
PROFESSIONAL DISPLACEMENT. The tale of woes for many marriages began from the point at which, one of the partners was given an extensive assignment away from home. Most men usually begin to develop alternative avenues for the fulfillment of their emotional needs. I am not saying that doing so is right, I am saying that doing so is natural. On the inception of your marriage, you and your partner must decide what is most important to you,your job or your marriage. Except in extreme conditions of military service, married people should fight tooth and nail for the togetherness of the husband and wife. The opportunities you choose to pursue must be uniting and not divisive. Long distance relationships, I may sometime understand, but long distance marriages I can’t vouch for. Carry your family along, it will preserve your marriage.
The facts must be stated, there is no point going into a marriage, if you are unwilling to give it what it takes to work. Part of what it takes is firmly resisting the negative influence of all we have spoken about today. The other parts I hope share with you as the week goes by.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE