The fact is that over 50% of marriages will end up in an accident of some kind. This does not include the overwhelming number of couples who are suffering in silence and whose conditions have eluded the watchful eyes of marriage counselors as well as statisticians. These accidents could take the form of divorce, an affair, loss of marital vitality, or physical abuse to mention but a few. How can you make sure that your love life is among the top 50% who are enjoying their marriages?
MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE OF WHO TO MARRY. The single most powerful determining factor of your marriage outcomes is who you decide to marry. I have often said that the only difference between being married and being marred is the letter “I”. You and your choice matter the most. When you choose the eggs,you have automatically chosen the quality of the omelet. Bad eggs won’t make good omelets, no matter the spicing. Similarly, it is frustrating to try to spice up a marriage made up of a bad choice. Choosing rightly is your greatest insurance against ending wrongly in marriage. Take heed.
- AVOID UNNECESSARY CLOSENESS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. I have never been able to understand how married people can get away with extreme closeness with the opposite sex, in spite of the fact that they are married. Such intimacies are bound to trigger off secret affairs. It isn’t just responsible for someone married to be found in consistent company of the opposite sex. Many use friendship as an alibi for this, and to them I will answer that, your spouse is supposed to be your number one friend. Anything or any associations that reverses that order will destabilize your marriage.
- AVOID PEOPLE IN GENERAL WHO DON’T TAKE THE MARRIAGE INSTITUTION SERIOUSLY. Evil communications corrupts good manners. I once had a friend who in spite of his several years of marriage,was always rendezvousing with younger ladies at very awkward times and places. In spite of this he seemed to be doing very well professionally, at least at the moment. When my friendship wasn’t changing him for good, I had to withdraw from the association before it began to change me. If you keep company with such people, their marriage values or lack of values will rub off on you and that’s where your marriage decline begins.
- BE CAREFUL WHO YOU OPEN UP YOUR HEART TO. Intimacy has consequences. I have noticed that the more you open up the treasures of your heart to a person, the more attached you will feel to them. The danger of this is that if you are opening up to someone you aren’t married to, this law of emotional attachment still holds true. This means that all who are serious about their marriage, must refuse to open up to people who are not their spouses. The only exception is if those people are operating in a spiritual/professional counseling capacity. In such cases, all professional and ethical protocols must be observed.
DON’T BE TOO SURE OF YOURSELF. Overconfidence has led to many marital downfalls. Most of those who claimed it could never happen to them, ended up messing up big time. We must approach our marriages in the spirit of humility because pride always guarantees a fall. When we are overconfident, we let down our guards, and when we do, we are more susceptible to many marital pitfalls.
Adhering to these five things will greatly improve the chances of your marriage working out. I look forward to your marital success.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE