stagnantGood ideas are the engine of progress in every civilization. Conversely, bad ideas are responsible for most of the stagnation that we experience in life, including our love lives. Today we unravel some toxic ideas that lovers can embrace to neutralize the progress of their relationships.

  1. BELIEVING THAT LOVE DOESN’T NEED TO BE STUDIED. Excellent love is a function of excellent love education. Many today struggle with their love lives because they are what I call love illiterates. Many want to be successful in love but haven’t taken time to read even a single book on the subject matter. Such ignorance stems out of the belief that love is meant to be second nature,needing no educational input and this is a big lie. There is every likelihood that someone somewhere has faced the same challenges that you are facing and has documented the solution in a material, all that needs to be done is to learn from them. Without this robust love education, all we are left to do is to use the substandard and impulsive ideas that occur to us for our love lives. Such an approach will fail to yield the desired love outcomes.
  2. BELIEVING THAT YOUR LOVE NEEDS NO COUNSEL. Often we are warned about the dangers of permitting a third party in our relationships. This idea has made people isolate their relationships from people who can legitimately help them, to their own disadvantage. It is not the idea of a third party that we should be afraid of, it is the idea of a negative and unqualified third party. For every negative reality there is a positive equivalent. It is those seasoned positive and professional counselors that one should seek out. The counselors that we are subscribing to should also have proven results in their personal lives, of the counsel they are offering, for us to take them seriously.
  3. BELIEVING THAT LOVE REQUIRES NO PERSONAL EFFORTS. Most struggling couples are victims of lazy loving. They believe that love will work automatically without any personal effort on their part. Wake up and smell the coffee, love is hard work not just fun. The fun of love is actually a product of tireless and consistent hard work. So when you claim to be in love, just know that you must be disciplined enough to back up your words of love with corresponding actions. You must not just talk the talk, you must walk the walk. True love will require hard work in communication, conflict resolution, gender interpretation, and all manner of things. Just realize that signing up for love, is indirectly signing up for work.
  4. BELIEVING THAT YOUR LOVE REQUIRES NO CHANGES. Many lovers don’t grow because they are fiercely resistant to change. Change however is a reality of life. The only alternative to change and adaptation is extinction. To a great degree many of our love lives have faced extinction because of our refusal to change certain habits attitudes and behaviors. Our response to overwhelmingly accurate information is to change. If in the face of accurate facts we refuse to change, the future of our love lives is in question.

It is time we separate the wheat of our love lives from the chaff of it. By this I mean, we must separate the ideas and mentalities that are working for us, from those that are not. What isn’t working should be abandoned, while what works should be preserved. Do let me hear about how these concepts are changing your life. I believe in you.

Deji Olabode.
Love Dynamics Global.
Enthronement Assembly Lagos.
@lovedynamix on twitter.
BBpin; 33023120

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free. http://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/39425945

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