I hate divorce. It is one of the most tragic experiences that can befall any marriage, particularly when it’s psychological impact on children are considered. However I have lived long enough to know that there are peculiar marital circumstances in which divorce is a credible solution. I know I will most likely be criticized by religious pundits for what I am going to say today, but religious correctness isn’t a higher priority to me than value for the individual. Continue reading
There is dignity and nobility in virginity. This is an undebatable fact. Owing to the fact that virgins seem to be the minority in our society,there is need to assert the value and virtue of this minority clearly in the minds of people. The point in doing this is not to make non virgins feel guilty,not at all. The essence is to enable our society place appropriate value on these individuals,who are vibrant voices of morality in our time. You may never be called to love a virgin,but we can all at least respect the value that they represent. Continue reading
Sexual promiscuity is a global issue. The sexual revolution of the 1960s completely changed the moral landscape of humanity forever. The seed for the sexual chaos of today was aggressively and intentionally sown in those years. The outcome is the global explosion of pornography, divorce, rape and sexually related crimes. The religious institutions of our day has simply responded to this sexual onslaught by quoting what their respective sacred books said is unethical. Unfortunately this has not worked, since even the adherents of the various faiths are also caught up in these sexual vices.
The secular society on the other hand, is attempting to cure the ills of sexual promiscuity by promoting the widespread use of contraceptives like condoms and the pill. Those who see condoms as the panacea for all sexual ills are grossly underestimating the role of impulse and spontaneity in humans at the point of sexual intercourse. If religious, governmental and business institutions are confused as to how to deal with promiscuity, the onus rests solely with the individual to seek personal clarity on the merits and limits of the use of contraceptives vis a vis the development of responsible,sexually ethical behaviors. The following are five things that condoms will not protect you from.
CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM HEARTBREAK. Have you ever heard of condoms for the heart? I doubt it. I often laugh when people are quick to pull out a condom before engaging in illegitimate sex,calling it protection. Health savvy as such actions may seem,they reveal a fundamental misplacement of priorities. They seem to me,to value the protection of their genitalia over the protection of their heart and minds, and that is unfortunate. One ancient writer speaks of guarding our hearts with all diligence,for out of it flows the issues of life. We must value the protection of our hearts and mind over our genitals.
- CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM EXPIRATION. Countless times I have had single ladies particularly confess the drastic change in attitude to them of most men after sex outside wedlock. Well I always have a hard time explaining to them,that their awe has expired in his eyes. Seldom do men regard with awe women that they have sexually conquered. One way to maintain that awe in courtship is by saving sex for marriage. So if you don’t want to expire fast,zip up.
- CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM BEING REPLACED. Nothing is as painful as seeing someone you were once sexually intimate with,in the sexual embrace of somebody else. The blatant truth is that anyone who is irresponsible enough to be sexually promiscuous with you,has automatically proven to you that they are likely to be irresponsible enough to be promiscuous with someone else. The only way to avoid such traumas is to choose not to be promiscuous at all.
- CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM THE GUILT. Promiscuity always leaves the bitter after taste of guilt on us all. It could be the guilt of an abortion or even the guilt of cheating on another, just to mention but a few. No one needs to be taught what is right or wrong. We all were born with an inbuilt ethical regulatory system called the conscience. The violation of our personal consciences is what produces guilt. That guilt is the mother of low self esteem in all humans.
CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM JUDGEMENT. There is an undeniable judgment for living a sexually promiscuous life,except one changes their ways. This judgment could come in form of a shattered marriage,an unwanted pregnancy,a fatally complicated abortion, a sexually transmitted disease, just to mention but a few. None of us is smart enough to escape the consequences of our wrong actions except we genuinely turn a new leaf.
This is not to mention the various spiritual and financial complications that trail promiscuity. The bottom line is that we should be more concerned with protecting our entire life, than with the protection of our genitals. The surest way to protect your life is by living a sexually responsible life and by confining your sexual rendezvous to the institution of marriage. Anything else is bound to cause you pain sooner or later.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE
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Maturity is realizing that, the fact that you can, doesn’t necessarily mean that you should. We all have the capacity for multiple love affairs in our connected world, but does that mean that we should have them? This inclination for multiple love affairs is all the more bolstered by the proliferation of mobile and social networking technologies. The real revolution of these technologies is not communication, as much as it is access. For the first time in a century, we can have unrestricted access to anyone, anywhere in the world with the capabilities of exchanging text, voice and images with them. This subtle access revolution has led to a global explosion of multiple love affairs. Continue reading
It is common for many who get sexually involved to do so motivated by the multidimensional pleasures of the sexual experience. What we seldom consider are the pressures that premarital and extramarital sex introduce into the equation of our lives. While many look at the upside of such sexual escapades, many are wrecked by the downside of their sexual activities. Continue reading
Beginnings are connected to endings. How a thing starts will most likely determine how it ends. In an earlier article I called this phenomenon “Genesis Analysis”. By analyzing how things started, you can predict how things will end. If the foundation of a relationship is warped, there is almost nothing you might be able to do to save it. Continue reading
Lust is limited. The greatest impersonation in our civilization is the impersonation of love by lust. It is amazing that a lot of individuals in our generation can’t tell the difference between the two. Those who mistake lust for love are bound to be wounded in their pursuit of love. Once I did a research on YouTube, I determined to watch every YouTube musical video on the subject of love. After watching countless music videos a reality dawned on me that 98% of all the love songs were actually lust songs. Not only were the lyrics loaded with lust, the dance steps, costumes and entire outlook were lust inclined. Lust is indeed more well promoted than love. Little wonder why a major portion of my generation is still in search of lust, even after their obvious apprehension of love. Continue reading
Yesterday, we established the fact that injustices in love will be the order of the day, if lovers are ignorant of their rights. The principal antidote to abuse in love is an understanding of what our rights are as lovers. A relationship can only be considered to be just when the individual rights of each lover is being upheld. Today we go a little bit further than yesterday. Continue reading
Change my lover? How did you know, Deji, that is what I have been wanting to do for a long time? I can almost hear somebody scream for joy at the prospect of replacing their lover. However, that isn’t what we are considering today, at least not just yet. The complex love equation we intend to deal with today is actually the challenge of change in our love relationships. To me, change, the change of either ourselves or our partners is the biggest challenge we might have to deal with in our relationships. Continue reading