Yesterday, we established companionship as a vital ingredient of a perfect love environment. We began to navigate the complex waters of long distance relationships. We made the fact clear that real love finds a way to keep in touch. Today, I want to give a few potent guidelines for managing long distance relationships.The first issue is that it is wise to explore the long distance option, if only you have had extensive prior, personal and practical knowledge of the person over a significant period of time. This enables you balance your partner’s geographical distance with your practical knowledge of the person over time. This is however not a failure proof strategy to use in love because people actually change in life.
One writer spoke about the delusional temptation man has to worship what he doesn’t know. What he means is that knowledge must precede love or worship. Unfortunately what I notice is that some people start full scale long distance relationships with people that they virtually know nothing about. Most online affairs in fact are built only upon a profile picture that is likely to be doctored,a personal online profile that is most likely to be falsified and most of all typed words that can not be verified for authenticity. To undermine the place of face to face, flesh and blood,long term interaction in starting a long distance relationship is to risk loving a lie.
My second admonition is this, know yourself and don’t deceive yourself. Long distance relationships are not for everybody. Some people’s loyalty to their lover is as strong as the presence of their lover. Their love, integrity and commitment disintegrates rapidly once their lover isn’t around. This might be because of a temperamental proclivity. For instance, sanguines tend to be loyal when you are around and they easily forget you when you are not.
The point is not to criticize yourself for being the way you are, but to acknowledge the way you are and let your love model flow from the personal knowledge of yourself. Once you know in yourself that you can’t handle your partner’s distance effectively,insist from the inception of your relationship that long distance love isn’t an option for you. Do not go ahead with a prospective lover until, you reach consensus on the issue. Never deceive your self.
Should you for some reason find yourself in a long distance relationship, the key to its sustenance is communication, communication, communication. Communication is the capital price you have to pay for the survival of a long distance relationship. Such lovers should invest in deploying a robust communication infrastructure before attempting to start the relationship at all. Such infrastructure may include, qualitative smart phones for daily calls and chats or a robust internet infrastructure for video bogging and social networks like skype and the others.
It is also important in communication that both long distance lovers take the excruciating pain to share every minutest detail of their lives away from one another with each other. I mean every detail, like how the day went, who they met, frustrations encountered, joys experienced, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. This will go a long way to foster intimacy during their time apart.
It is also important for long distance couples to take the occurrence of lack of communication seriously. Lack of communication is the master signal of death in a relationship. Once communication ceases, the death of the relationship has occurred. Long distance lovers should fight for communication in their relationship like a drowning man will fight for air. However, if all attempts to revive communication fails, the facts must be faced. THE RELATIONSHIP IS DEAD. All you need to do is to conduct a relationship post mortem, a befitting relationship burial and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
The fourth thing to do in a long relationship is to guard your heart with all diligence. In order to do this, you must understand how the heart functions. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The implication is this. While you are at a distance from your partner you must deliberately refuse to open up the treasures of your heart to another else your heart will move in that direction.
The treasures of your heart may include personal secrets, desires, aspirations, temptations, thoughts, feelings, frustrations and agitations just to mention but a few. Once you open up the treasures of your heart to another who is not your partner,your heart follows. The outcome could be a full fledged affair. This is why as a long distance lover, you must refuse to open up to another, even if there are others who can meet your needs over there.
This topic is inexhaustible. I will still write on this matter in greater detail sometime in future. My final admonition is this don’t take it too far. Many people underestimate the damage that distance can do to their love lives, only to wake up and realize they’ve lost their love and have nothing to fall back upon. Why not visit your loved ones regularly. You might be able to handle the distance well, but are you sure your spouse can? Are you sure your children can? Many have chosen the development of a career or the pursuit of wealth over the development of enriching relationships. Such people end up with a lot of money in their hand but with a hole in their heart.
They build the house but have nobody to live there with. They make the money but there is no one to share it with. They make the fame and have millions of fans but have no one to accept them for who they are. In the final analysis, Love is the purpose of life. Love is the meaning of life. Love is the value of life and companionship is the supreme act of love.
Have a remarkable weekend.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE!!!
Love Dynamics Global.
@lovedynamix on twitter